My opinion right at this moment

Faith is when you close your eyes and open your heart. It's something that breaks through to the core of who you are, something that you tell people it's not something I can explain, it's just something that is a choice that I made, it has transformed me for the better. Some think that anybody can be a better person if they wanted, this is true, but having faith is much deeper, it starts to become who you are, not just your choices.
I made a choice that I wasn't going to date anymore, being pure in my heart for my future husband through the choices I made. Right when I started doing this I met him, his name is James. Now we are deep into it, and my mom doesn't even know yet, because I told her I was done with boys, gosh, and then this happened, I am going to give it more time before I tell her. I still continue my journey with God, even though James happened, because God needs to be first right now, although it is hard I am trying my best. Guys always took me away from God's intentions, I learned  a lot though from my experiences. I started trusting God with my relationships and who he has picked out for me. I don't know what James will be as an outcome of me trusting God, but so far, he is the best thing I have ever had. We'll see... :)

My opinion on style

I wish I could wear top of the line clothing by the most pristege designers out there, like the supermodels and actresses out there, but no I am only a teenage girl going through high school, that can barely pay for her gas in her car to and from school. Usually I just slap on clothes, but other times I put time into how others will think of me when I wear a certain thing. Then, I thought about it, I like to look nice, but I also like the attention I get when people accept me for me than what I am wearing that day, and making comments on my clothes, its nice to get nice comments no doubt, but its not what I should focus on. I think girls that aren't confident about themselves tend to care more about how they dress in the morning, they have to be unique in their style to differ from other girls. Who doesn't want to stand out in a good way?

My opinion on communication

I range on how I communicate through to people. Sometimes its through gestures, or the sounds I make, or texting, or saying what I need to say in person, or facebook. Whatever which way I respond to people and what I want from them differs. I think the best form of communication is person to person. When God made people, he didn't create other forms of communication for others to communicate, he made our voice and language to communicate with eachother. We show expression and feelings through talking to that person in person, that's natural, it's what we are supposed to do. I find myself saying everything I need to through text to people better that way though, I don't have to be nervous that way. Communication is never going to be perfect between people, there is always something missing in the conversation that I think the other person wants from the other person, but it never fulfills the other person's thoughts. Then, there are those old couples you come across every once and ahwile who finish each others sentences, and just understand each other and how they think, I admire this connection. I think music is a big form of communication also. I don't know why but sometimes people ask me to look up a song, or if I have heard it, and the lyrics symbolizes something of how they perseve the way they think in a way, and the beat of the song. Just their overall aroma they give off can be shown through communicating through music.

My opinion on school tests

I know, I know, no body likes tests! Tests, are what we have to do though, yes we can ditch them, but it's not like it's going to get us much further by just guessing anyway. My opinion is that everyone is different, you can teach a whole group of people the same material, but some individuals like myself can have a totally different view point on what they just were taught. I don't think people like to learn for information, when you ask someone what they learned in life they aren't going to tell you all the freaking elements on the periodic table for example. They are going to tell you about life, what they learned through an experience. People aren't meant to be put in one place, listening and being taught at, definitely I feel this is true for men. Men are usually hands on people, and dominant people, schooling can be an insult to some, or something meaningless because they feel like they aren't learning anything anyway. I just go along to what is given to me though, I width-stand a lot I do not like, and just go along with it, because it is the life so far that God has placed in my hands to make something useful out of it. Finals are coming up, and I never do good on tests, but I try, usually I don't typically succeed. My head just doesn't hold information that I don't find appealing, I can study and study but what use would that be when I can't hold the information. It's like my brain just spits out whatever it doesn't like, even though my motives was to learn it to begin with to do well. So I guess, my advice would be, just do your best and don't get upset if your brain acts like mine, because it's not an excuse, it's just some people don't learn certain ways. It's okay, the world is not going to end if schooling doesn't work out for you. I do well though, I have pretty good grades, I like to feel that accomplishment.

My opinion on dating

I didn't ever used to have this perspective on dating, because frankly I didn't know, and was immature. I think now that I have more of a drive in me, I will accomplish what I believe in. My opinion on dating is simple, I don't like dating. Dating is for people who don't know what they like and don't like in a guy or girl, but if you already know who you are, then wouldn't you have to trust that whoever the right guy or girl is for you out there is perfect for you, and destined, so wouldn't at some point the two of you meet anyway? I dated, and had a lot of boyfriends, but none could fulfill what I already wanted at an early age, and I don't even know why I gave some guys the chance to begin with, but I thought it would be good experience for me. What I came to realize now is that, for me that is not the case, dating is not going to get me anywhere. I need to save my emotional energy into healthier time for God. I think some religions that tell you you can't date, that is preposterous because I don't think they really get it, I think like for me, it is something that has to come from the heart, to trust in God, and know that He has someone out there for you, and I had to make a commitment to stay pure for him, because I know my future husband would appreciate me being forever devoted to him, which means my whole life, which means even the times I have before I even meet him. I would hope the same from him. I may make mistakes, and wonder why the heck am I not dating, but I know in my heart it's just not for me. I try to treat guys around me like my brothers, and not to give into sexual curiosity, because at some point I will be swept off my feet by my perfect man.

My opinion on music

I LOVE MUSIC!!! Okay, probably not as obsessed as others because some have like itunes and really invest in the type of music they listen to, not me. I don't have my own itunes so my ipod just has music from my brother's itunes, so there are not all the songs I would choose on there, but it's not like I would know the names of the songs anyway haha! :) I wouldn't know because I only really listen to what is on the radio, so I have become adapted to any type of music really, everything is sound to the ear, all so interesting. I like country, hip hop, rap, christian, classic rock, punk, rock, and contemporary on occassion. I don't think I am a fan of mettallic though, too head strong for my taste. It was funny to listen to South Korean music during the cultural day at the high school. If anyone likes squeeky group pop music, I would highly recommend South Korean music!

My opinion on transportation

Transportation has long been a way for humans to get around,whether it be your own two feet, bicycle, train, car, subway, boat, or plane, it's all been a way to get from point A to point B. My opinion on what fuels cars has been something debated for decades. In Fort Collins we used to have a trolly system that got people around, and not to mention some of the other cities like LA. The trollies were electrically powered from the power line that drove the trolly down the tracks, this type of transportation was easy and was efficient, and didn't consume a lot of resources. The three big companies at the time where transportationw was changing and cars were coming in popular use were Firestone tire company, an oil company, and I think some car company or train company, big companies. These companies bought out the trollys to be replaced with cars and buses instead, they did this out of greed for big bucks. I think it would be the bomb if we put trollys back in to the cities and with old town again also. :)

My opinion on drugs

Hmm let's just start with that I am not against anyone who does drugs or have tried drugs, or have gotten drunk, or smokes whatever it might be. My beliefs are different though, mostly because I think a lot differently then others. I have talked to 3 Mormons girls in my acting class not to long ago about what they believe in and stuff, and from what I heard, they are very much into being the best people they can possibly be because they have higher expectations of themselves, and my conclusion on what I think they would say about doing drugs and this goes for any religious person, doing drugs is a sin because the actions that people most likely take while being under the influence result in sinning and going against God and His purpose. Now, I do believe in that some, but my own opinion on the matter, is that it simply isn't natural. I had this argument with my boyfriend because he thinks that doing weed and drinking alcohol is okay. He tells me stories of his parents letting him drink with them and smoke with them sometimes, they care for him a lot and they are great parents, they just think those particular things are ok to do. Other people have different family structures, but for me that is definitely not being adults. Straight up, it's not what God made us to do. From birth, a person is meant to only consume food and water, therefore, anything that someone consumes in their bodies is simply not natural. It's just what makes sense to me.

My thoughts today... :P

I just cleaned and organized my room, and put a new bed set on my bed, and it feels very good and fresh. This new chapter in my life of a new, sophisticated, and older look to my bedroom got me thinking more about my outside looks, and life as well. I think everyone goes on a journey of finding themselves as they get more and more mature. I guess it depends on what you have been through in your life to lead you up to who you are today, but I know that I have made too many stupid immature decisions that resulted in confusion in my life. After deciding I really don't want to continue down a mislead path I have been starting over in my thinking process, my personality, and looks. My new responsibilities that I am putting on myself and coming into myself has helped me see that abusing my outer looks is not God's intentions. I used my outer beauty to control my actions, and I need to be more humble to better accomplish greater and better things. I already went through what I had to to get to my own personal thoughts about myself, and to better understand what girls have to go through starting when they start caring what they look like and how others think of them. It's great things that God has been coming to my realization. :)

Don't give up, because this too will pass :)

Homework

Being a junior in high school is not that difficult if you don't make it to be, but it can also be a troublesome burden in crucial times for teenagers, and too much for those who are "over achievers" or are forced to be by parents. Personally, homework is not important in high school or for college. Public schools don't offer enough personal time with the teachers and students to really get enough out of the class period. Private schools focus more on subjects that they want their children to focus on because they are paying for it. I just am sick of homework, it's completely meaningless to me, but yet I still do it, because I do care about my future and grades, but it's definitely a waste of my educational time. I don't even remember any of the things I had to do for homework anyway, so technically I'm not learning anything, because if I'm not passionate about something than I'm not going to remember what I just had to do. Seems like life is all about rankings, and who did this and who didn't do this, and who understands this and who doesn't understand, just because you didn't do your fucking homework.

My opinion on religion

I'm going to tackle down this subject for my own benefit, because I need to not just say my beliefs but write it down, so one day I can look back on it, and read through my thoughts as a sixteen year old. Since I can remember I have been attending the same church, I do remember trying other churches, but Vineyard of the Rockies was in a way my second home. A lot of the care that took place for me as a child was special to me, it was a place I always looked forward to during my weekends, I knew from a very early age that I loved God, because surrounding me were people that also showed me how much God was in power, and how much Jesus loved me. I took the basics with me back home and grew on that for awhile, and I started praying and developing my own faith that has revealed my character through time. I do think through things though, I don't just believe in God because it's how I was raised, but it  is how I was raised to be. I always had the choice to believe what I wanted to, but attending church, and the songs sung in gratitude to God with everyone just fills my gap that my real dad could never do for me. It's my faith that is a constant for me, sometimes I don't have it very often but it's always there it's embedded in me. Faith conquers over religion I do believe though in my opinion. Religion takes what God is all about into just rules and guilt, and some do fine in their life time and others don't know God's true love for us and his individuality he gave us, he didn't make us to be all the same all thinking the same. God gave us a consience, feelings, morals, knowledge, and beauty. There is nothing I can do about the way other people think, but I can rest in the moments feeling content myself.

My opinion on schooling

Honeslty, I came to a point where I found out that school is just random things that will be stored away in my brain that might be dusted off to be put to use some random time in the future. Yes, I do learn new things, but it's not flourishing my interests or goals in life. Infact, the things we learn in school should only be absolutely necessary other then that, it's a pointless way to occupy teenager's lives. And college is just an excuse to think we are something in this world because we are certified in schooling and certified in something specific, so then we can go and only  work in that one field. People like me are the ones who see the issues in this world, and expose ourselves to knowing what the 4 billion population holds. We are the discoverer's the ones that have strong voices that can change society, environmental issues, hunger, technology, and issues facing humanity today. I get by with a strong but open perspective, I keep my door open to all possibilities, and my heart softened to those around me. It's time we start teaching and using common sense instead of facts. We are creatures that crave knowledge that are revelant to today's issues. If school were to be more futuristic, in the way where the things we learn can be put to use as a way to individually support each person, and what they are passionate about and a way to figure out who they are as a person and the role they play in society, then there would be a lot more people that would benefit issues facing the world today.

My opinion on parents

One day I want to see a world where parents take the role as parents. I see too many teenagers in school that I have talked to that has had issues in their life time because their parents bailed out on their responsiblities. If someone wants to have a baby then they should make sure they know the person they are having the baby with is someone they know for sure as someone they want to spend the rest of their lives with, and know can work things through together. It takes one bad parent to make an unproductive extra person in civilization. These kids grow up with no real sense on how to be responsible or have any reason to care for someone because they weren't taken care of themselves, yet they are thrown into the world with no way of knowing how to deal with issues effectively, because society is so misleading. Teenagers in particular who have had a bad home life struggle a lot in who they are and what their role is as a person. These kids are more prone to affiliating themselves with everything and anything to fill the gap of their significance.